10:56 am
well, I didn't quite get to finish where I left off last night due to extraneous circumstances I'd rather not detail here. but what I will say is that we were watching a Steven Seagal movie called Belly of the Beast which is probably more ridiculous than you can imagine it. then the Chinese food arrived, we ate, and finished watching the movie. after laughing at the absurdity of the godlike power of Seagal, we both went to sleep.
Seagal is a vengeful god.
before passing out last night I was going to write about the rest of the day so I'll continue it here instead. after the laptop died on the bus I had very little left to do. I tried reading a bit more while drowning out the sounds of the movie and managed to finish a couple more short stories which I only vaguely remember now. we made another stop for a little while to get something to eat, but I wasn't hungry so I just walked around for a few minutes and called Dave to let him know that the driver notified us that we'd be arriving in about an hour, which turned out to be wrong since he didn't take the one hour time change into account and I didn't bother confirming his accuracy. once we left I continued reading just a bit more, and then watched The Three Stooges for about half an hour while debating whether or not I should try talking to the girl behind me again or the girl in front of me. I decided that, since I already tried talking to the girl behind me long before and failed, I wouldn't bother again, and the girl in front of me kept receiving phone calls at about five minute intervals, and reading while waiting for the next, so I didn't want to disturb her. whenever I'm reading something and someone interrupts me I always find it annoying. so instead I just kept watching The Stooges and enduring boredom.
not too long after that, thankfully, we arrived at Union Station, so I gathered my bags, and headed inside the station to escape the wind. Dave had arrived there nearly an hour early due to the incorrect ETA that the driver had provided at the last stop and he called me about forty minutes before we'd gotten there to ask where we were. I told him on the phone that the driver apparently didn't acknowledge time zones so it was still going to be a while. I called Dave and notified him of my arrival, but he didn't answer, so I waited a for him to call back while wandering around and enjoying the aesthetic of the station. as I was approaching the Great Hall my phone started to ring. it was Dave calling me back and he said that he would be there within a couple minutes, so I took a seat on one of the benches to wait.
behold my superior skills of artistry and be amazed.
once he got there we left to head back to his apartment, stopping at Qdoba's on the way to grab something to eat. this venture from the station to his place made me very regretful of how much I packed because my arms were tired and my hands sore after only five or six blocks, about half of the way. thankfully I got a short rest once we got to the El. for those of you unfamiliar with it, the El is the name for Chicago's rapid transit line, which consists of subway and elevated rails. actually it's called the "L" but I'm going to call it the El so deal with it. after the treacherous journey was over and we made it to his apartment the first thing I noticed was a giant, and presumably stolen, street sign among a bit of a mess in the front room.
front room.
most lenient "no fatties" rule ever.
I was finally able to relieve my limbs, have a seat, and enjoy the delicious queso dip from Qdoba's. after that we chatted a bit more and finished sharing a couple stories we had started on the walk over. we went over to his friend Tim's apartment to get Dave's computer and then carried everything back to his pad to set it up.
after talking a bit more and setting up his computer we decided to head back over to Tim's but before we left I went to the bathroom. when I walked in the first thing I observed was America the Book and The Alphabet of Manliness leaning against the wall on top of the toilet, which pleased me.
that gorilla had it coming.
but it was right after this, when I looked to the right of the toilet, that I spotted a very intense looking plunger, which I felt compelled to closely examine.
the only plunger Seagal is willing to use.
once I felt adequately acquainted with the contraption I went back out to the kitchen and then Dave went to the bathroom. while he was in there, I decided to investigate the kitchen a bit. I looked around and saw dirty cups and shot glasses with remnants of liquor and mixed drinks left in them. I looked in the refrigerator, finding very little inhabiting it, which is not surprising considering that the tenants are both males in their 20s. I opened the freezer to find that it was even more barren than the fridge. all I discovered in there were two ice trays and about thirteen cents in change; a dime and three pennies, possibly four since it looked like two might have been stuck together.
back in my grandma's day that was enough to buy a Coke.
we walked over to Tim's apartment and fired up the Xbox 360 to play Halo 3. I attempted to find a control scheme that would allow me to successfully utilize the Guitar Hero 3 controller but my efforts were, unfortunately, all in vain so I resorted to using a standard Xbox 360 controller. we started playing some ranked Team Slayer and I consistently annihilated most everyone on the opposing team, and in a game of Shotty Snipers on Valhalla I actually had more kills than the opposing team of four people combined. if you play Halo that ought to mean something to you, but if you don't then it doesn't really matter. I must admit that much of this success was attributed to my icon, which, for those of you who have recently played Halo 3 with me will know, is the mauve (pronounced moh-vay) unicorn and lavender explosion. I believe it is this icon that provides me my powers. however, this achievement paled in comparison to Dave's impressive verbal abuse towards the opposition as Dolomite, one of his angry black personas, spouting out comments such as "I will eat yo' babies, Motherfucker!" it's the voice that really makes the character but that, unfortunately, cannot be conveyed through this medium.
after playing Halo for a while we called it quits and walked back to Dave's, ordered the Chinese, and put the movie on which brings us full circle to where I left off last night.
well, I've managed to finish up yesterday, but we're about to head out so I'm off.
"I liked you much better as a bitch!"
-jon
11:42 pm
time to play a little catch up, so here are today's events thus far: when I woke up Dave was still sleeping so I used that time to write earlier. once Dave awoke we went to a deli a couple blocks away called Kathy De's for lunch. since they're going to be closed all weekend for Easter they were trying to get rid of everything so our subs and salads were half off, which was mighty sweet. we went back to Dave's to eat and then decided to repair to Tim's to hang out with him and play some Halo. Tim and Dave talked about a few people they knew at the fraternity that Dave was in a couple years back while I focused solely on spreading public awareness of the supremacy of whatever color I happened to be for that game by eradicating Master Chiefs and Elites that differed in complexion. I was, once again, rocking out the mauve unicorn and lavender explosion so I was performing spectacularly. after a while a couple of their friends, Noah and Kurt, stopped by to hang out for a little while. they talked while I played Halo and won a few games of Lone Wolves. Noah drove us all to a grocery store so we could pick up a few drinks and then he dropped Dave and me off at his apartment. Dave and I made a couple drinks (gin and Fresca) and then decided to tackle our ritualistic Hunter: The Reckoning run through. for those of you who have not had the pleasure of playing it, it's a game of unlimited ammo and seemingly endless zombies, so if perpetual and repetitious zombie-slaughtering is your bag, I'd definitely recommend checking it out.
we got through a level or two and then the effects of the gin started creeping up on us. we took a break from Hunter to warm up the leftover Chinese from the night before and then QP, Dave's roommate, stopped in with his friend so we talked to them for a bit before they left. we made a couple more drinks, devoured most of the Chinese, and then got back to de-animating the recently reanimated. once the gin became more prevalent, so did Dolomite. one of the interesting characteristics of this personality is that he speaks, almost exclusively, in bizarre declarative statements that end with the exclamation of the word "motherfucker." I'm unable to remember most of what was said, but I do distinctly remember him saying "I'll teach you to bleed red, Motherfucker!" and "this isn't the Declaration of Independence, Motherfucker! this is the Declaration of Beef Jerky!"
and this is where we're at now. we've occasionally been taking breaks to make a drink or grab something to eat, so I've been chatting with a couple people online and writing here as we go along. I was talking to a this kid I met online who prefers to be referred to as "Dan," but whose actual name conjures painful memories. I said something to him along the lines of "right now my friend is in his kitchen talking to his ramen noodles as his imaginary black persona named Dolomite." I don't know why I said this to him, especially considering it was completely unsolicited as there was a short silence in the conversation preceding that statement.
we've got some music playing in the background to accompany our merciless slaughter of the undead, stone gargoyles, vampires, exploding spiders, jabberwockies, and the like. we started with some Led Zeppelin which makes me realize that I don't listen to nearly enough of them. while there was some downtime in the game between levels, we started talking about music and after a short while the conversation turned toward a local band called Wyatt Hood who are admirably reminiscent of older bands, including Led Zeppelin and Lynyrd Skynyd, among others. this mention of them has us both itching to listen to them, so we throw on some Wyatt Hood and revel in their sound. by this time the gin is in full effect and we both really let the tunes envelop us. I now know what it feels like to be that annoying drunk guy at a concert who gets way too into the music. they are an amazing group and everytime I listen to them they reiterate and make abundantly clear every disappointment I see with most modern music. they possess a natural patience and musical diversity that it seems many bands are incapable of. Dave said something about them to the effect of, "that guy can make his guitar sing for him, and that's real talent," which I agree with; he really can make those strings work wonders. seriously, check 'em out.
well, I just prepared myself another drink and I'm just beginning to flirt with high gear, so it is in this state I leave you. time for me to kill countless more zombies and then get some much needed rest. I'll see ya on the other side.
I can't remember if it was a homing suppository or anal GPS.
-jon
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