Wednesday, December 8, 2010

From the Archives: Chicago - 3/23/08

Sunday, March 23, 2008
10:42 pm

it was just today that I really began to understand the dichotomy of certain aspects of life here compared to back home. a lot of things are similar, sure. it seems that most strangers in the city are equally as timid, although I do receive the occasional random comment from someone about my trench coat in both places. recently a surprising amount of these have been compliments, which is quite a deviation from the paradigm. let me set the scene for the typical comment I received about it before a couple months ago:




approaching the United Center.


we purchased two tickets for a whopping $24 total. for those of you unaware, the cheapest tickets available for games in Detroit cost $22 which almost rivals the price of two in Chicago. the only exception that I'm aware of are the $9 Wings tickets which were implemented just this season, and are quite hard to come by due to a limited supply and the necessity to purchase them in person at the Joe Louis Arena (JLA) box office as opposed to online or over the phone. I have stories of these adventures, but they can wait until another day.

I haven't been to many professional hockey games, and this was the first one that I've been to outside of Detroit. I must admit that the UC is a bit nicer arena than JLA, although I would expect it to be considering that the UC has only been in operation for about 13 years and JLA is approaching more than twice that age. UC is much more modern, with escalators providing convenient access to all levels, as opposed to JLA where the upper and lower decks are only reachable by stairs once inside the actual stadium. the UC corridors seem much wider, which makes getting around a lot easier, although this could just be an illusion caused by a difference in attendance in each building. the seats allow for a bit more leg room, which is a concern for a Peron of my frame.

we wandered around the halls for a little while, searching for our section. I decided to wear my Red Wings Steve Yzerman jersey to the game, assuming that since they were playing a different team, I wouldn't receive too much flak over it.

this was wrong.

I was informed by several people that "the Red Wings suck." now, I'll admit that Detroit has been less than stellar against the Blackhawks this season (I think our current record against them is 2-3-1) but we are dominating them in overall points. even after Chicago won today's game against St. Louis, Detroit is still almost 30 points ahead of them. this made me realize something; Dave has relayed stories about the extent of some of the drug use here, but this instance solidified my understanding of it. the only way I could rationalize these people's logic was to assume that they were on drugs so intense that they actually thought that they were existing not in the present, but in the 1970s during the "Dead Wings" era. I shudder to think of the aftermath of such negligence.

while we were walking around it became quickly apparent that I was not going to experience hockey like I would in Detroit. see, Detroit hockey fans go to a Wings game solely for that reason; to see a Red Wings hockey game. I've had the joy of going to five Detroit Red Wings games so far this season and every game as been equally enjoyable in terms of the atmosphere and people. a majority of the fans obviously possess a bias but tend to be quite amiable toward outsiders and opposition. there isn't a lot going on besides the game, and everything fancy is happening on the ice. but we've had a powerhouse team for about a decade and a half and the fans don't require any extraneous entertainment because our team more than provides it. but Chicago has had a failing team for quite a while now (although with the recent additions of Kane and Toews, that may soon change) and it takes more to satisfy the fans than just a hockey game. there are mascots for teams that have nothing to do with the sport, and may not even actually belong to a team; I saw cats and dogs, birds (possibly a pelican). hell, I think I even spotted a goddamn dinosaur. anyway, more on that later...

now, I can't really tell you how good the seats were for the tickets we purchased, because I truly have no idea. however, I can show you the view from the seats that sat in.




there was an annoying kid in front of me, but he does not appear in this picture.


once we settled in, we talked for a few minutes. I reminisced and told stories about amazing plays made by the likes of Nick Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk I'd seen this season. but then, the lights went down and things got loud. that's when the video started playing on the scoreboard and there was a small laser light show on the ice. I took a short video of it, but the quality is terrible because it was on a digital camera.



the Blackhawks own animated teams.


I'd estimate that this movie ran for a duration of at least four minutes, possibly closer to five. much of it was computer generated and showed off the amazing abilities of the players when faced with animated opponents. then it showed highlights from previous (real) games; goals, saves, hits, etc. this was something else I was not used to, as there is nothing similar to this in Detroit. the players simply skate out, warmup for a few minutes, and then the game begins. the video was well received by the Hawks fans. I suppose they need something to be excited about since their team rarely delivers...

after the teams warmed up and the anthem was sung, the game began. I was disappointed to see that Hannu Toivonen was in net for the Blues since I was hoping to see Manny Legace, but I shrugged it off and just prepared to enjoy the game. almost immediately I found myself analyzing nearly every play made and finding most decisions to be wrong. for every pass, deke and shot I would try to imagine what Lidstrom or Zetterberg would have done instead, and then try to continue the play from there in my head. it was difficult to try to imagine what Datsyuk would have done because he is, as some of you already know, a ninja, which makes him very unpredictable. this made the game a bit more interesting and made me even further appreciate the team here in Detroit. Chicago is a relatively young team with a lot of players without a lot of experience, and it shows in their play. I saw them make a lot of mistakes synonymous with rookie players. a symptom of this is the attitude of the fans. after having a bad team for so long, the fans have been forced to lower their standards. if there is ruckus among the crowd at a Wings game, then you know that something substantial just happened. however, standard and mediocre plays generally induced a cacophony of "oohs" and "ahhs" from the Chicago crowd. orthodox plays like dump ins from center ice that happen to be on net were received by excited anticipation by most of those in attendance.

for those of you who haven't been to a hockey game, then you are probably unaware of this, but there are people who clear off the ice during commercial breaks. while the players are skating and tearing up the ice, snow starts to build up and it makes skating more difficult, so whenever there are commercials a few people come out with shovels to clear some of the snow off around the nets where most of the action takes place. in Detroit, these people are generally males, seemingly in their late teens, maybe early 20s. but in Chicago, just to further reiterate that hockey games are not to be viewed as the only source of entertainment at the UC, the people that clear the ice are very attractive, very young women wearing pink jackets and bunny ears, who I deemed the Playboy Shovel Bunnies.




Playboy Shovel Bunnies


Playboy Shovel Bunnies video. once again, sorry for the quality.


to be fair, they don't always dress that way. I was watching a Chicago game on television and they showed them briefly and they weren't wearing pink jackets or bunny ears. instead a bikini top was solely responsible for concealing their upper bodies. apparently they aren't called the Playboy Shovel Bunnies, but the Chicago Blackhawks Ice Crew. I found this to be kind of ridiculous, but I'm certainly not inclined to complain...

anyhow, the game started off pretty slow. no goals were scored in the first period, and nothing else particularly interesting happened. thankfully things got exciting during the intermission due to a riveting mascot game.




I swear one of those is a dinosaur.


sorry about the shaky-cam. I was trying to make it edgy.


fortunately things picked up in the second. St. Louis struck first with a goal about halfway through the second period, but Chicago tied it with a couple minutes left, making it 1-1 going into the third. Chicago went up 2-1 with about 11 minutes left, but St. Louis quickly answered back with a goal tying it up at 2. with just a couple minutes left in the game it looked like they were headed to overtime, but Tkachuk scored on a breakaway on a steal after Kane lost control of the puck, putting the Blues up 3-2 with just over a minute left. however, Chicago refused to fucking die and tied it up less than 30 seconds later, forcing the game into overtime, and this was when I got swept up in the ineluctable excitement of the game. Chicago went on to win in overtime on a goal by Kane off a rebound, redeeming himself for the giveaway that lead to Tkachuck's go-ahead goal that almost made them lose. this outcome came much to Dave's dismay, as he was hoping for the home team to lose. admittedly, so was I, but I enjoyed the end of the game too much to care about that.

as the crowd cheered and the players celebrated on the ice, Dave and I started to make our way out of the stadium. we went to the bathroom before we left and I overheard conversations between ecstatic Blackhawks fans about what an "amazing game" it was, additional proof of the lowered standards there. much of the game was fairly dull, although I will admit that once it got heated at the very end and during overtime, things got quite interesting.

after leaving the arena we made our way to the El. along the way we encountered an SUV full of kids who decided to honk the horn and scream out the window at us as they passed by. apparently they did so rather thoughtlessly as they were forced to stop at a red light not more than roughly 75 feet in front of us, and were, I assume, immediately made to feel like jackasses.

after the game we headed to the Melting Pot to enjoy a very nice and pleasantly lengthy dinner. we discussed life and philosophy and shared observations over some delicious fondue. Dave dominated most of the conversation, as he has a tendency to do, although I've never minded. he sees things in a way completely different from me and takes many things into great consideration that I generally never even provide a second thought. this uniqueness has inspired many great monologues that I've had the enjoyment of... I guess "interpreting" would be the most accurate word.

after dinner we went back to his apartment and started watching Gangs of New York and I started writing about today. just a couple minutes into the movie I remembered how badass that film is. we're about an hour into it right now, and we both just decided to switch it up to Venture Bros., which I must provide my undivided attention, so it's time for me to leave.

"oh! was it worth it Shaq?!"

-jon

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From the Archives: Chicago - 3/22/08

Saturday, March 22, 2008
11:38 am

I open my eyes, expecting to find myself still playing Hunter, but instead the title screen of Gladiator is playing on the television, my laptop is open and lying in front of me, my desktop icons are inexplicably and mysteriously missing and I can't hear anything out of my left ear except for a very slight humming sound. the clock says that it's just past four in the morning so I've apparently been asleep for quite a while. I get up and walk out to the kitchen. I notice that QP's door is open so I peek inside to find it uninhabited. I assume that he slept wherever it is he left to last night and I briefly wonder if maybe he's walking up to a similar unpleasant feeling right now. but hell, from what I've heard, waking up in an apartment not his own to find half of his auditory senses rendered incapable seems like operating procedure for him. but for me this is foreign goddamn territory to the point where I'm keeping a close eye on the treetops. I'm still feeling a bit wobbly, so I just grab my toothbrush out of my suitcase, brush my teeth, and then stumble back onto the futon to get some more sleep.




search results with Googlepedia


as I was reading through what I had written on the first day, I decided that the "Auto Suck" I mentioned probably deserves some visual clarification so I Googled "auto suck 12 volt" to find an acceptable web site to link to and was quite surprised by what Wikipedia returned…




resourceful much?


now, I know MacGyver was renowned for his tactical use of common items, but his intricately improvised devices were usually conceived in order to escape an immediate life or death situation; not to get his rocks off during a boring stakeout using a car cigarette lighter and a vacuum attachment. but I suppose if I was that resourceful I wouldn't conform to conventional masturbation either.

well, back to the movie for me. catch ya later.

defying the laws of odor.

-jon

8:47 pm

okay, so, I lied about getting stuff done. actually I surfed the net, talked to a few people on instant messenger and listened to the Detroit Red Wings game online. right now our boys are up 4 - 1 over the Columbus Blue Jackets. Dave's back from the store and just got done telling me a story about it. his friend, Logan, picked him up. Logan has a couple friends visiting from out of town and decided to give them an abridged tour of the city. they drove by campus and checked out a few buildings and then he drove to the south side to check out the ghetto. as Dave put it, "we went to the ghetto. we were driving pretty fast, like you would on an African safari." kind of makes me wish I had tagged along, but now is no time for regrets. we're about to finish watching The Kingdom and then some Venture Bros. I'll catch you cats on the flip side.

Pavel Datsyuk is a Ninja.

-jon

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From the Archives: Chicago - 3/21/08

Friday, March 21, 2008
10:56 am

well, I didn't quite get to finish where I left off last night due to extraneous circumstances I'd rather not detail here. but what I will say is that we were watching a Steven Seagal movie called Belly of the Beast which is probably more ridiculous than you can imagine it. then the Chinese food arrived, we ate, and finished watching the movie. after laughing at the absurdity of the godlike power of Seagal, we both went to sleep.




Seagal is a vengeful god.


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From the Archives: Chicago - 3/20/08

Thursday, March 20, 2008
8:18 am
 
I look at the clock and it informs me that it's approaching 5 o'clock in the morning. I've been unable to sleep and I need to be awake at seven, which means even if I pass out at this instant I'm still only looking at about two hours of sleep, which will just leave me more drained than if I decide to endure the two hours awake. so instead of continuing to hopelessly try to get to sleep, I keep writing and every once in a while allow myself to be distracted by the television. I just put in the third disc of Titus, and I'm remembering why I used to like the show so much. sure, it pales in comparison to Arrested Development (which, if you're unfamiliar with, shame on you. but that rant can wait until another day), what I consider the deity of all television shows, but that, by no means, makes it bad. it's kind of like comparing Dion Phaneuf to Nicklas Lidstrom. Lidstrom separates himself from the pack in almost every category available and generally does so by an astounding margin. he is sublime in his play, nearly flawless in his foresight, and he can he can read the game better than almost anyone that's ever played it, and he manages to do it with such grace, such elegance, that when you watch him perform you think to yourself, "well, shit, I could do that. give me a stick, strap a pair of skates on me and write me a check for a few million dollars." he is truly sui generis. and then there's Phaneuf; he can be a bit improvident and may not always show the best judgment. many times when he goes in for that big hit he ends up on the ice just like his target. he's also been known to stumble a bit when he's frustrated. However, he's still a great defenseman, and although it may not always look pretty, he gets the job done. I have similar feelings about Titus; it's good, but it's not Lidstrom-good.

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